I blame the oranges

So I took a little blog hiatus last week, and I'm sure the suspense has been building as you await stories about whatever preoccupation kept me from writing. So here it is. While you all were anxiously refreshing your browsers in hopes to catch a glimpse at a new post (just go with it...this girl needs dreams no matter how far-fetched), I was hangin' with two of my grandmas in Arizona and acting like a retiree.

I'm not going to lie. It was pretty awesome. Minus the frigid weather. The high temps for the 5 days we were there were 51, 49, 44, 51, 61...and on the day we left, 74. Go figure. The Hubbs and I have some pretty awful weather luck when we travel...rained and was unseasonably cool for most of our honeymoon, was unseasonably cool when I was in New Orleans last year, and there's a record freeze when we go to AZ. Take this as your warning in case you ever decide to travel with us.

In spite of the lame weather, the Hubbs and I were able to enjoy the retired lifestyle — we played shuffleboard, bocce ball, drove around in golf carts, went to dinner shows and the theater, learned how to make jewelry, swam in beautifully heated pools, and watched people far more talented than us work on stained glass, wood working and whittling projects. And we ate really, REALLY well.

Post gorging ourselves on all-you-can-eat (challenge accepted) ribs, chicken, ham,
green beans, dinner rolls, potatoes, baked beans, stuffing, oatmeal cookies.
I could try to blame the bulk on the winter coat, but you'd all know it's a lie.

Let's just say the Diet Nazi was put on hold, but the fresh oranges that I could get right off the tree outside at least kept me eating something besides carbs. They've also ruined me because the orange I picked up at the grocery store couldn't hold a candle to the citrus I was devouring in AZ. I haven't weighed myself since I got home, but if the poundage I lost has been found again, I'm going to blame the oranges (not the pancakes, french toast, BBQ ribs, salmon, pizza, popcorn, etc.).

We also met some lovely people...and one of them gave us a frozen salmon that he'd caught in Alaska where he and his family live the rest of the year. A trip highlight was definitely the reaction of the TSA security checker when she screened Hubby's carry-on bag containing the frozen fish...she had to run it through the scanner twice. When Hubbs said that she was probably seeing a frozen salmon, I was pretty certain our loot would be near the top on her "strange things people pack" list...either that or Hubbs would be taken into custody. And while I love him, there's a good chance I would've left him at the airport and taken it as a sign that I was supposed to stick around and enjoy the 74 degree weather.

Now that I'm back and being welcomed home by even MORE frigid weather...I'm so flippin' ready to retire. I can learn how to make beautiful things from wood, stone, glass, etc., play a ridiculous amount of card games, swim daily in a pool that's essentially filled with bath water, gorge myself on oranges, and take ballroom dance lessons (or about 9,000 other classes covering everything from foreign language training and photo editing to acting and silversmithing).

If any of you all would like to donate to the "help Sara retire" fund, I promise to let you come visit me in whatever warm locale I choose for my winter home. It'll be like a cooperative...but I get the master bedroom and you get the sleeper sofa. It is my brilliant idea after all. AND if you're really lucky, I might even snag you your very own Alaskan salmon...

Come on shake your body, Baby, do the...

ZUMBA!! Since my participation in Zumba was a pretty big deal this week, I don't think the great Gloria Estefan will be offended that I took a few liberties with her lyrics.

The best way I know to describe Zumba is that it's like rhythmic, aerobic dancing with some Latin flair...and it's AWESOME. Well, it would be more awesome if God had gifted me with just a tad more rhythm and coordination, but luckily He gave me a whole lotta improvisation abilities and an aptitude for making a fool of myself and not really caring.

Here are some tips for other first-time Zumba-ers who are blessed with similar grace:

What I envision I looked like while doing
my unique Zumba/Tae-Bo stylings

1) If you have a propensity for falling UP the stairs, you might not not get every step right, but keep trying or make it up as you go. Pretty sure my workout looked like a combo of poorly executed Zumba with a touch of Tae-Bo (whoop, whoop, shout out to Billy Blanks). Why you ask? Well, if I didn't understand the move, I just threw in some awkward kicks and jabs followed by some step touches. Heart rate still up? Check. Movement vaguely disguised as Zumba? Maybe. Still sweating? Yep. Cool, close enough.

2) You will hear others in the class laughing. Assume they're simply enjoying themselves and not laughing at you...or assume they are laughing at you and be proud that you're able to provide such quality entertainment.

3) Your instructor will appear to have consumed 900 energy drinks. It's cool. Don't be intimidated. You don't have to do every move with quite the same enthusiasm ..and actually considering the coordination issues it might be safer to hold back a bit. That way, when you run into the support post in the middle of the room because you were looking at your feet TRYING to make them move as instructed, you only hit it giving 80% effort and only get the 80% bruise. Not at all speaking from experience...yet. But, not gonna lie, there were a few close calls.

Diet Nazi Update

So the Diet Nazi is starting to feel more like a fuzzy Diet Tiger that you can sometimes pet, but there's always the risk that it might be less friendly and bite without warning...that metaphor made more sense in my head, but I'm running with it.

I am also down 3.5 pounds since Hangry Sara started this lovely blog last week. I'm pretty happy about the progress and can say that it's gotten much easier to stick to the eating plan and find simple ways to naturally increase my physical activity, which is nice cause I'm not a huge fan of exercise that feels like exercise.

That's what's new in my life. I hope you all are also enjoying weeks with lots of laughter and a few new experiences. If you have any tips on improving my Zumba skills, comment it up...you can also comment if you just want to know the time of the next class so you can come watch. I won't be offended UNLESS you submit a video of me to America's Funniest Home Videos and don't share the winnings...cause there's bound to be winnings.

When the universe turns against you

Do you ever feel like the universe is working against you? That's pretty much how I started to feel late last night. The Diet Nazi had been far kinder on day two than it was on day one and my limbs were all still in tact — it really is the small things in life. However, the day was wrapping up and my willpower was waning as my tummy began grumbling. And then the universe turned against me.

Some background info to help you follow. You see, Cedar Rapids is a city of many smells, and in the five years I've called this city home, 99.9% of the smells that have wafted in through my car vents have been FAR from appetizing. I've heard tales of the air smelling like Cap'n Crunch Berries on occasion, but I was pretty sure people were lying about this phenomena since I'd never experienced "pleasant" CR smells...that is until day two of the starvation plan. And then, as the day was coming to a close and I was starting to feel a little HANGRY, the sweet smell wafted into my car.

Seriously?!? Can't a girl catch a break?

Cap'n, why, oh why, do you have to make your Crunch
Berries just so darn tasty...and delicious smelling???

I took every evasive measure I could think of to distract me from the lovely smell that was amplifying the grumbles in my stomach — changed the settings on the heater to only circulate air already in the car vs. pulling in any more of the DELICIOUS scent (too late, the air inside the car was contaminated), singing loudly with the radio AND trying to sing every lyric correctly (now that takes some serious concentration), only breathing through my mouth (maybe not the best idea while also trying to sing loudly...hello lightheaded while operating a moving vehicle).

But everything I tried was to no avail. By the time I made it to my destination, I was ready to LICK the car vents...and then I ate a cookie. 

So there you have it. Day two of taking the Diet Nazi head on and I'm off the wagon. At least I know Cap'n Crunch Berries day does exist and isn't just a cruel prank to keep me inhaling deeply in the hopes that one day I will be greeted by something other than a putrid stench. What can I say. Living here is like roulette for the senses.

And, in the pursuit of full disclosure with my dear readers, I can say day three, which is quickly coming to a close, hasn't gone much better than day two...just replace the cookie I ate on day two with a cupcake on day three. And that slip up is even WITHOUT the Captin' Crunch air temptress crushing my willpower. Weight Watchers is sounding better all the time...well, Weight Watchers and a giant bowl of Crunch Berries. :)

Hey bloggy world...here's to distratcions

So, I finally bit the bullet and decided to start a bloggy blog. The reasons for this choice are rather vast...

1) It's a new year (w00t, w00t 2013!!) so why not try documenting the happenings in my life in a new and fun way...hopefully.
2) It's day one of my Special K Challenge and needed something to do during my lunch break to distract me from the throbbing hunger pangs in my stomach.

Diet Nazi -- Similar to the Soup Nazi dude only
WAY MORE  terrifying and he works for
Kellogg's developing meal (starvation) plans

Seriously, I could eat my arm. Now, I know some of you might be thinking, "Sara, don't be dumb. It's lunch time, so go eat." And here, my dear friends, is where the problem lies...I've already eaten the meager lunch allowed by the plan, which I will now fondly refer to as the Diet Nazi. I'm REALLY hoping the Diet Nazi lays off and stops tap dancing in my gut sometime during the next two weeks or my poor hubby is going to deal with one very, very HANGRY wifey. 

han • gry (han-gree) A state of anger caused by lack of food; hunger causing a negative change in emotional state.

Yep, that's where I'm at. Only hangry doesn't seem strong enough...I'm adding come up with a stronger word for my-insides-are-eating-themsevles-because-there's-no-food-in-my-belly-but-just-flippin'-ate hunger to my to-do list...stay tuned for that development because whatever I come up with is CERTAIN to be awesome. I'm a communication major after all.

If nothing else, this sorry excuse for a meal plan has prompted me to join the interwebs. Here's to day two being better, and a new start to 2013 with a new bloggy blog. For the sake of my limbs, I promise to update when starving...