Who is this person?!?
My gym membership is limited and only allows me to go in on Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I woke up today – a non-gym day – and I WANT to work out.
WHAT!?! This is so NOT like me.
When I was a kid, my parents had to force me to go outside and play, and my version of "playing outside" was to sit on the porch reading a book while my brother rode his bike or threw his football around.
All through grade school, junior high and high school, Phys Ed class was my LEAST favorite point of the week. When we did fitness tests, I knew I had to complete my mile run/walk in at least 15 minutes, and I would cross the finish line at 14:59. My philosophy: Least amount of physical effort required. It's just PE and exercise is LAME-SAUCE. Plus, I don't think PE went toward or against your GPA…
Now, as an adult, I still have a recurring dream that I'm back in high school, have essentially skipped Phys Ed for an entire semester and am in jeopardy of not graduating because I'm failing Phys Ed. (I also have a similar dream where Phys Ed is replaced with Advanced Math…childhood trauma really sticks with a person).
But to be honest, this failing Phys Ed dream isn't too far off from reality. I was a Freshman and had missed the two weeks of school (hospital stay due to Mono) and was still recovering, so I had to sit out of Phys Ed class for a solid month.
The policy was if you missed a class you had to write a report on a sport of your choosing. Now, a normal person would use the time they were sitting out of PE class to write said reports, but I put it off. You technically had until the end of the semester to turn in all your reports so I used my downtime on the gymnasium bleachers to work on homework that had stricter deadlines.
Fast forward to a few weeks left in the semester. I was shopping at the local Pamida with my mom (a former high school teacher who was still very acquainted with the high school staff), when the Phys Ed teacher walked up and shared that I was getting a D in Phys Ed and needed to turn in my SIX OUTSTANDING REPORTS or else.
Pretty sure my mom chewed my butt the entire 15 mile car ride home while I complained about it not being fair because I couldn't help that I had Mono. But fair or not, I spent the rest of my weekend writing Phys Ed reports, and I passed Phys Ed with a more respectable B.
However, that NEAR fail didn't change my ideas on the whole PE front. While the teachers rambled on about fitness, blah, blah, lifetime of activity, blah, blah, healthy, blah … I was thinking: Phys Ed is dumb … I hate getting sweaty in the middle of the school day … Public showers suck … If lifetime fitness is so important, why are all my Phys Ed teachers a little heavy? … Shoot. I can't remember my locker combination. What if I have to wear my smelly, nasty PE clothes ALL DAY LONG?!?
However, in the last 5 years, I've gone from my lightest adult weight to my heaviest adult weight, and maybe an occasional game of capture the flag or prison ball WOULD'VE made all the difference in the world.
So here's to you Mr. Swivel, Swivel, Jump (J. High PE teacher who taught us the Macarena) … sorry I judged you when you when you wore your tight, red polyester shorts. Your confidence (or complete lack of fashion sense) made them look good.
